


A Zombie and The Devil

by PyroJuese



Category: Lucifer (TV), iZombie (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover, F/M, Humor, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25745410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyroJuese/pseuds/PyroJuese
Summary: After they find a body on a boat, Liv eats its brains, but it ends up the person was murdered in LA. In order to avoid questions about the missing brain, Liv and Clive go to LA where they have to team up with two other cops, but one thinks he's the devil. for teens because Lucifer's being Lucifer. The romance never goes far, but it is there.
Relationships: Liv Moore/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	1. DON'T JUST BARGE IN

"So, what do we have today?" Clive asked as he approaches Ravi, Liv, and the dead body they were surrounding.

"A murder, but it was obviously moved," Liv said.

"What makes you think that?" Clive asked sarcastically. They were on a barge in the port of Seattle, the dead body was surrounded by police tape and cargo boxes.

"Strangled to death. The bruises around the neck indicate large hands, so probably a man. He looks like he's been dead for a couple of days, but I can't know how many for sure until we have an autopsy," Ravi said

"Okay," Clive said, "I'll go see if they're done taking pictures. Also, Liv..."

Ravi smiled and looked at Liv. "I hope you like sea food," he said, finishing Clive's thought.

~~~~000~~~~

Ravi and Liv finished the autopsy, so now Ravi was spinning in a chair boredly while Liv was in the other room eating brain chowder. They were waiting for Clive to come back to the morgue with the barges shipping records. "You know," Ravi said, " Gaston was roughly the size of a barge. Maybe he's the murderer."

"Well, Gaston is incredibly strong. He would be able to strangle people easily," Liv said.

"And if the victim and Gaston got into a strangle off, no one has a neck as thick as Gaston, so he would win."

"For there's no one as burly and brawny, as you see he's got biceps to spare. Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny, and every last inch of him is covered in hair."

"You know, in the new remake, I know a way better person to play Belle then Emma Watson. The person with the best skin and hair ever, Mister Donald Trump," Ravi said jokingly.

With the words 'Donald Trump', Liv spiraled into a vision. Through her eyes, she was walking down a side walk at night and she approached a red star on the floor. It said 'Donald Trump' on it. The person she was in her vision laughed. 'Like he deserves that,' the masculine voice of the now dead victim said. Suddenly large hands clasped around the throat, choking Liv through the vision. That's when she snapped out of it.

"Did your dead guy ever meet Donald Trump? " Ravi asked. "Was it an assassination attempt?" He was now sitting across from Liv at the table in the morgue's kitchen.

"No," Liv said, "He was in front of a Donald Trump star when he was getting choked. It looked like it was in the walk of fame."

"Like, the walk of fame in Los Angeles? He has a star?" Ravi asked.

"I don't know," Liv said. Ravi went over to the morgue's computer and started looking up if Donald Trump really has a star.

Just then, Clive came in unnoticed by the medical examiners. "Five days ago the barge was in Los Angeles," He said, catching the others' attentions. "How long was the body dead?" he asked.

"Approximately five days," Ravi answered.

"I had a vision of being choked in front of the Hollywood walk of fame," Liv said.

"Did you see the choker?" Clive asked. Liv looked at Clive in a way that basically said 'you know the answer'.

"Are we going to Los Angeles?" Ravi asked.

"I could request a temporary transfer, but we should probably just give the case to the LAPD," Clive said.

"But I could give them valuable insight on the case that they won't get anywhere else," Liv argued.

"Yeah, and if we hand off the case, we hand off the dead body, which for no reason is missing a brain. It won't look the best coming from the town currently being accused of having zombies in it," Ravi said.

"Good point, I'll go file a request. But you two are our best medical examiners, I don't think we can take both of you to Los Angeles."

"Then just take Liv," Ravi said. "She's the one with the visions. Besides, I have a cure to work on."

Liv smiled. "Thanks, Ravi. I should make a documentary about you. I'll call it 'Chakrabarti'!" Liv said, moving her hands in front of her as she said Chakrabarti.

"See, she even has film brain. Perfect for Los Angeles," Ravi said.

~~~~000~~~~

Chloe was listening to someone on the phone at her desk while Lucifer sat on the desk and played with the stapler. "Okay, thank you," Chloe said and hung up the phone. "Lucifer, we've been assigned to work on a case with a detective and medical examiner from Seattle. We have to go pick them up from the airport an hour."

"Ooo, Seattle. Do you think they'll bring rain back to California? It's hotter than Hell down here, and that's not an easy feat," Lucifer said.

"Can you try to be less... Lucifer... for the guest police officers?"

"Maybe I should drink Starbucks and listen to Nirvana. I'll fit in perfectly!"

"Just be yourself, but not too much," Chloe said.

"Don't worry so much Detective, Seattle loves me. I once met Sturgill Simpson there," Lucifer said. He put the stapler down and got off of Chloe's desk. "We should get going. LA traffic."

"Yeah," Chloe said and grabbed her keys off of the desk. Her and Lucifer were off to the airport.


	2. THE DEVIL'S ASSOCIATES

"That movie had such beautiful backgrounds," Liv was saying as they grabbed their luggage off of baggage claim. "But the Dutch angles are a bit outrageous. And don't even get me started on the close-ups."

"Trust me, I don't want to get you started," Clive said.

"There were so many close-ups! I could tell you about every molecule on that one guy's face. When I make it big, I'll make sure to not include so many close-ups," Liv ranted.

"Good to know," Clive said, knowing that watching the free movie on the airplane was a bad idea. Suddenly a tall, dashingly-handsome, dark-haired man wearing a dark suit approached them.

"Hello, there. Are you the detectives from Seattle?" the man asked, he had a British accent.

"Lucifer!" a woman scolded as she joined the man. "You can't just go up to people like that!" The woman had somewhat long blonde hair and was shorter than the man. Upon seeing the woman, Liv went into a vision. In the vision, she was holding a CD case with the woman on the front walking away from a hot tube with a two piece bikini and a graduation cap on. There were four other people in the hot tub. 'How will you graduate? HOT TUB HIGH SCHOOL' it said. 'What's this?' the murder victim asked. 'Dude, it's porn,' a man that Liv couldn't see said. Then the vision ended.

While Liv was having the vision, the man and the woman stared at her. "Is she okay?" the woman asked, while the man waved his hand in front of her face.

"Oh, yeah. She does that," Clive said. "She's a, um, psychic."

"Really?" Chloe questioned, not sounding like she fully believed him.

"Interesting," the man said.

Liv exhaled sharply and looked at the woman. "You were in Hot Tub High School," She said.

"In what?" Clive asked.

The woman buried her head in her hands. "Oh God," she mumbled.

The man smiled. "You've seen it too? Some of the detective's best work," he said.

"You guys are the Los Angeles Police officers we're supposed to meet, right?" Clive asked.

The woman took her head out of her hands and grabbed her badge from her pocket. "Yes. I'm Detective Chloe Decker, and this is my Civilian Consultant, Lucifer Morningstar. Hot Tub High School was something I did when I was really young and stupid," the woman, Chloe, explained.

"I'm detective Clive Babineaux, and this is medical examiner Olivia Moore, but she goes by Liv," Clive said, showing his badge.

"You're name is Lucifer Morningstar?" Liv questioned. "Did you ever go down to Georgia and play a golden fiddle?"

"No, that song was completely made up. Jonny and I actually were playing the piano, and it was in Montana," Lucifer said.

"We should get going. The murder isn't going to solve itself," Clive said.

"You're right," Chloe said and started heading back to the car with the other three following.

~~~~000~~~~

"I have the best movie idea," Liv said. She was in the back seat of the car with Lucifer, while Clive and Chloe were in the front. Clive was giving information about the case as Chloe drove. They were in a police car with the window between the front of the car and the back closed so they couldn't hear each other's conversations. "The actual devil comes up from Hell and fights crime with a detective. You can be my main actor," Liv said

"That kind of seems like it would make a better TV show, but I would make a great main actor," Lucifer said.

"Great wouldn't begin to cover it," Liv said, staring at Lucifer. For some reason, she was heavily attracted to him. 'It must be the brain,' she thought.

"You could call the show 'The Devil's Own Chloe'," Lucifer suggested.

"And what if you wear nothing but Prada. That would look so good under the lights," Liv said.

"It should be directed by Shyamalan. The twist could be that it's not the Sixth Sence, but is actually good."

Liv sighed. "Shyamalan's Sixth Sence was a masterpiece of film, but the rest of his films have so much plot holes and predictable twists. And what's with all the Cameos? Who does he think he is, Stan Lee? I won't cameo, even when I become famous."

"If you want to be a movie director, why are you a detective? And live in Seattle?" Lucifer asked.

"Well, um, I," Liv said, trying to think of a plausible lie. "Money. Morge work pays well."

"Oh really," Lucifer said not sounding like he believed her. Liv looked at him, then he smiled and tilted his head slightly. "Tell me, what is it you truly desire?"

Liv was sort of put in a trance. "I want to have a purpose until the cure is made," Liv said.

"Cure? Cure for what?"

"I-I can't tell you that," Liv said. She started looking out the barred windows to avoid eye contact.

"Oh, come on. You know you want to tell me," Lucifer said.

Liv really did want to tell him, but she knew she couldn't. She bit her tongue and stared out the window more intently.

"What could be such a secret? Is it an STD?"

Liv looked at Lucifer. "Well, I guess it is."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm a zombie," Liv blurted.

"No, seriously, what is it?"

Liv was thankful he didn't believe her, but she couldn't help but open her mouth again. "I'm legitimately a brain-eating undead zombie. The only reason we transferred was because I ate the brain of the murdered victim and now I get visions of stuff he saw before he died." Liv could tell Lucifer still didn't believe her, but for an unexplainable reason, Liv wanted to prove she wasn't lying to him. She bit the side of her hand as hard as she could. Liv could feel herself going into 'full-on zombie mode'.

"Oh that's fascinating," Lucifer said. Liv stopped biting her hand and returned to her normal state. "How did it happen? Was Father just bored again?"

"Drugs on a boat party. I didn't do any, but I got scratched by someone who did."

"That's a shame. What drug was it?" Lucifer asked.

"Utopium."

"Have you ever tried Utopium and Max Rager together. It's delightful! Sprinkle some cocaine on top and voilà! It's better than one of Gorden Ramsy's dishes."

Liv was going to respond to that but the car stopped. Lucifer jumped out. "Hey Detective, the medical examiner is a zombie!" He exclaimed.

Clive, who just got out of the car stared at Lucifer in disbelief. Liv stared at him with dread and regret for saying anything. Neither cop from Seattle knew what was going to happen.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A/N: CLIFFHANGER! Dun dun dun! So... how do you like the puns? Also, I hope the wait was worth it. Review if you want more faster. And believe me, the puns only get worse.


	3. SPEAK OF THE ZOMBIE

"Hey Detective, the medical examiner is a zombie!" Lucifer exclaimed.

Clive, who just got out of the car, stared at Lucifer in disbelief. Liv stared at him with dread and regret for saying anything. Neither cop from Seattle knew what was going to happen.

Chloe sighed. "Psychic is hard enough to believe, but zombie? That's not even religion related."

"If you think about it, my dear old half brother Jesus was a zombie," Lucifer said.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "We should be working on the case Lucifer, not whatever it is you're doing. Come with me, Detective Babineaux. I'll introduce you to the assistant detective on this case."

Liv and Clive let out sighs of relief that Chloe didn't believe a word he said. Clive didn't want to seem suspicious, so he started following Chloe. "I'll meet up with you later, don't get into trouble," Clive said to Liv. Liv looked at the ground kind of guiltily.

"Lucifer, while I work with Detective Babineaux, why don't you take Liv to Ella," Chloe said.

"Will do Detective," Lucifer replied. The two police officers left together, and Liv went up to Lucifer.

"What the hell was that?" Liv whispered to Lucifer angerly.

"I was just informing the detective. I knew she wouldn't believe me. I've been telling her I'm the devil for about a year now, and still nothing," Lucifer said. He didn't even try to whisper back.

"Promise me you won't tell anybody else," Liv said, she also gave up on the whisper.

Lucifer smiled devilishly. "If I do that, you'll owe me a favor," he said.

"What kind of favor?" Liv asked.

"Anything I feel like, but I promise I won't utter your secret to another soul, living or dead. Deal?"

Liv contemplated it. She knew she probably shouldn't trust him, but she couldn't help it. "Deal," Liv agreed.

"Lovely. Now Washingtonian, we were off to go meet Ella," Lucifer said and started walking to the building. Liv followed.

"Lucifer, I got the pictures from the barge scene and I love your hairstyle by the way," Ella said, directing the last part at Liv.

"Oh, thank you," Liv said, not really expecting the compliment.

"Anyways, I also got the autopsy back and had a great conversation with the guy who did the autopsy. We realized that due to some post-death bruising, two people had to lift him to get him on that barge. The one that held the lower half of his body was about eleven inches shorter than the person who got the upper half."

"Judging by the height difference it's probably a male and female, likely a couple," Liv said.

"Yeah, that's what me and Dr. Chakrabarti came up with," Ella said.

"Have you already told the lead detective?" Liv asked.

"I told Chloe and Clive while you guys were driving back."

"Then why did the detective send us here?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh yeah, It's because I have pictures of the dead guy. You've been assigned to ask the locals if they've seen him. When I was on the phone with Chloe, Clive told me that your psychic abilities, which is awesome by the way, work better when you see or hear things similar to things the victim experienced," Ella said and handed a stack of headshots to Liv. She smiled.

"Maybe we could check out the movie studios here! You know, to further the case," Liv excitedly said.

"Well, I don't see why not," Lucifer said. He and Liv started walking to the police cars to get to movie studios.


	4. STAR FEUDS

"Warner Brothers studios!" Liv exclaimed in excitement as Lucifer drove near it in his convertible. "They'd be perfect to start off my career! We should definitely go there."

"You know, I once brought a girl to the top of the water tower. She was a maniac," Lucifer said.

"The water tower? Would you say she was zany to the max?" Liv asked. She waited for Lucifer to continue the reference like she knew Ravi would have, but he didn't say anything. She continued it herself. "That's totally insaney, and those are the facts."

"So, do you still want to go?" Lucifer questioned. He didn't know why Liv was calling things crazy in a weird way.

"Of course I want to go," Liv said. She then smiled and stroked his arm slightly. "And you know, I wouldn't mind being taken to the top of the tower." Liv winked at the devil, who smiled back in return.

"Well, medical examiner, if you insist," Lucifer said and pulled off onto an exit that leads to the Warner Brothers studio. Daniel Espinoza joined Chloe and Clive at a computer. "Hi," Dan said to Clive, "You must be the detective from Seattle. It's a pleasure to be working with you. I'm Detective Espinoza." He stuck out his hand and Clive shook it.

"Detective Babineaux," Clive said. As they shook hands, all Clive could think was how much Dan looked like a cop. He tried imagining that face as any other job, especially as an undercover cop, and none of them fit. The only one that got close to fitting was a job as an actor.

The two detective disjoined their hands and focused back on the case. "So, do we have any clues on who the victim is beside his face?" Dan asked.

"Well, he's really into film, has an opinion on everything, and has seen Hot Tub High School," Clive said.

"How do you know that?" Chloe asked. She also hated hearing the name of her old movie by detectives that she'd just met.

"Oh, um," Clive mumbled. He knew there was no real evidence for his claims, but that they were true. The thought of throwing Ravi under the bus by saying that there was evidence suggesting it crossed his mind, but that was too big of a lie. "The psychic medical examiner said so," he said.

Chloe sighed. "Psychic medical examiner?" Dan questioned.

"Let's just leave it as we have no leads on who this John Doe is. We just have to wait for DNA to come back and hope he's in the system," Chloe said.

"Or until Liv and... Lucifer come back," Clive said, forgetting Lucifer's name for a second. He thought the two were hard at work finding good materials for vision starters.

"You know, when this crashed in Looney Tunes Back In Action, it should have gotten Daffy and DJ completely wet, but it didn't. I have many more issues with that movie too. If I was hired to write, direct, and star in it, it would have been perfect," Liv said.

"Oh I bet," Lucifer said sarcastically. They were climbing up the water tower together. When they were about halfway up, an Australian accented voice yelled 'Oi mate' at them.

The two looked down at the floor to see a pissed off Russell Crowe staring at them. "You can't just climb the tower, you tourist! What's wrong with you!"

After he said that, Liv gripped the ladder she was on as tight as possible and inhaled sharply. She saw Russell Crowe through her vision. 'What's wrong with you, mate!' Crowe yelled, 'What kind of janitor leaves bird #$% on my trailer's window!' Then the murder victims voice said 'what kind of actor would audition for a musical with a voice like yours?' Crowe looked furious. 'Why you-' The vision ended with Russell Crowe taking a step towards the victim and the victim took a step back, showing a bright yellow mop bucket and the side of the water tower out of the window nearby.

Liv started breathing heavy as she returned to reality and her grip loosened. "Was that one of your zombie things?" Lucifer asked quiet enough for only Liv to hear.

"Yeah, a vision. I could see and hear things that the person who I eat the brains of saw and heard before he died. Our victim was a janitor at this studio. He also had a fight with Russell Crowe."

"How exciting," Lucifer said. He slid down the ladder and walked up to the famous actor. The devil lifted him off the floor with little effort, which scared Crowe.

"Oi Mate, what's this about!"

"Why did you kill the janitor?" Lucifer asked threateningly.

"That stupid janitor? He thinks he's better than everyone even though he's rubbish, I didn't kill him. No one did. He's just flaking out of work. Put me down!"

Liv joined Lucifer by his side. "I don't think he did it. I think the fight was a while ago. He mentioned a musical so it was probably in 2011 when Les Miserables was under production."

Lucifer put the actor on the floor but still didn't let go. Russell Crowe was struggling with no change in Lucifer's grip. "That's not very exciting. Anyone would fight with him about that terrible performance," he said.

"I know right. I wished I born deaf while I watched all of his scenes," Liv agreed.

"HEY!" Russell yelled.

The two supernatural people ignored him. "And there was so much issues with that movie as well. What the hell was with Eddie Redmayne's performance. He looked like he was eating the air whenever he sang. They should have casted me as Marius. The movie would have been a million times better," Liv said.

"Speaking of Hell, I'm pretty sure he's going," Lucifer said and pointed at Crowe with his free hand. "You don't know how many famous people are in Hell. Especially musicians and actors."

Liv smiled a little, thinking that he was joking. She didn't fully believe that he was the devil, but she definitely believed more than Chloe did. "I think we should take him back to the station for questioning. Also to tell Clive about what I saw."

"What the $%^# are you two talking about?" Crowe asked.

"Good idea medical examiner. I'll wait until Chloe's around before I find out what he really desires," Lucifer said.

Liv smiled coyly. "Maybe after that, we can finish what we were doing on the water tower."

"And after I give the murderer the punishment he deserves."

"Fine by me," Liv said. She hated how she was attracted to him. The last thing she wanted was to make a zombie outside of Seattle, but this attraction seemed more powerful than brains usually were.

With Russell Crowe in hand, the two detective assistants went back to the car and drove towards the police station.  
~~~~~  
A/N: Would Livifer or Lucivia be a better ship name for them? Not saying I ship them though, I just know that Lucifer has a devilish attraction thing going on. They won't hook up (most likely) by the end of this. Anyway, reveiw your thoughts on this chapter that took too long to get out.


	5. SCARED CROWE

"Detective! We found the murderer!" Lucifer yelled into the police station. Liv followed behind him with Russell Crowe in handcuffs beside her.

"Lucifer! You can't just arrest people without evidence!" Chloe scolded.

"But we do have evidence," Lucifer said, "There was an eyewitness account saying that they saw Mr. Dead-guy and this has-been arguing."

Chloe looked slightly surprised at this, but Clive looked worried. "By eyewitness-" He started to ask.

"They were very vague about it, like those annoying people in movies who artificially prolong the already stupid mystery by using the pronoun game," Liv interrupted. "They didn't say how, or when they saw it, but their story is reliable. They also ran away and we can't find them again."

Clive understood, but Chloe was confused. "'They'? Were there two eyewitnesses? And how did they get away? We need them for questioning."

Liv scoffed. "You think that 'they' must mean two people? I can't believe you. Also, they were Mormons and had bikes in hand, so we couldn't catch up on foot."

"How would that even-" Chloe began, but Clive cleared his throat, redirecting her attention.

"We should still interrogate Russell Crowe. He is our only lead after all," Clive said.

"How are we even sure that he knows the murder victim?"

Russell Crowe looked annoyed. "I told ya, Dick wasn't murdered. He probably just ditched town and his family is a buncha hippy Americans that would call an ambulance if one got a paper cut."

"Dick? Is that a person?" Chloe asked.

"Dick's the janitor at warner bros studios," Liv said.

"Also the murdered guy," Lucifer added.

Dan joined the other detectives. "I couldn't find anything on John Doe. Also," he pointed at Russell Crowe, "Why?"

"We're going to interrogate him," Clive said, taking the actor out of Liv's hands. He started taking him to the interrogation room with Liv close behind.

"Yeah, he seems to have information," Chloe told Dan. "Look up the janitors at Warner Brothers studios and see if there are any Richards."

Dan nodded "You got it," and left again.

Chloe and Lucifer started followed the Seattle detectives with Chloe telling Lucifer how wrong it was to arrest Crowe without barely any evidence.

There sat an Academy Award for Best Actor, a Broadcast Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor, an Empire Award for Best Actor and a London Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actor winner, Russell Ira lights shone on him as two police officers, and a medical examiner stared at him from the opposite side of the gray table. Their bodies reflected onto the glass behind him.

"I'm not saying a bloody thing without my lawyers," Russell said.

"Mr. Crowe, you're not in any trouble. We're just here to ask questions about a recent murder," Clive said.

Crowe shook his head, "I keep telling ya, Dick is not dead! He just got so #$%ing tired of his job that he left."

Chloe slid some of the crime scene photos across the table. "Is this the person you keep talking about?"

The famous actor looked at the images in disbelief. "Bloody %$# er… he actually died…"

"So this is him?"

"Yeah," Crowe said, not taking his eyes off the pictures. "Warner Brothers' janitor. He's been there for, like, twelve % $#ing years. He's been an entitled $%hole for as long as I've known him. Always talking to the actors about what he'd do better, but he never bloody did anything. Everyone wanted to ! #$% him right in the #$%!$# %$#& #. He wanted to do the same to us for 'taking his $%#ing jobs', but I don't think anyone would %$# ing kill the guy. Hot %#%, that'll turn a %$#ing %$# acting job to a $#!ing !#$y one."

"So just to clarify, your movies became $#!ing !&#$y ones just by coincidence?" Liv asked.

Clive and Chloe looked at the zombie. "Liv, please don't. Not here," Clive mumbled.

Liv shrugged. "It's not my fault that anyone, especially me, can act better than the only lead we have."

Russell Crowe slid the pictures away from himself and pointed to Liv. "He acted just like that. Like a pompous #$%."

"Oh you're one to talk. I don't think that fighting anyone who doesn't like your horrible music is the opposite of pompous."

The actor stood up and glared at the medical examiner.

"Ms. Moore," Chloe said, "I think it would be best if you joined Lucifer outside."

Liv inhaled sharply and went into a vision. She saw a tall man with short hair, which was dark brown, like his eyes. Next to him was a shorter woman with long blonde hair and big hazel eyes. The two stared at the murder victim in horror. "I think it would be best if you don't let this information out. Don't you agree?" He asked. The people two in front of him stood in silence. "You monster," the woman mumbled. She had a new Zealand accent. The vision ended. Liv gasped for breath.

"What the bloody hell was that? She did that on the water tower too!" Russell Crowe said.

Liv ignored him and looked at Clive. "I saw something that might help the case."

Before Clive could respond, Chloe spoke up. "We can't use psychic visions to further a case. We have to get evidence. The misuse of police resources you and Lucifer did to get Russell Crowe here is as far as we're going to stretch. We have valuable information now, we can't take any more shots in the dark."

"But-" Liv started, but got cut off.

"You should go wait with Lucifer."

Liv nodded. "Okay," she said slightly begrudgingly and went outside of the room.

Lucifer was leaning on the window, bored. "What's the point of being here if the detective won't let me force the truth out of the suspect?" he asked Liv rhetorically.

"Chloe won't use my visions as a source of evidence either. We could wait until Clive is done and he could help us figure out how to convince her to listen to us without telling her that I'm a zombie."

Lucifer laughed. "Trust me Medical Examiner, no matter how convincing Detective #2 is, he won't get the detective to change her mind. She's seen me get shot multiple times and not have a scratch, but she still doesn't think I'm the devil. That's more proof that I'm satan than most people get that Dad exists, but she's still not convinced. How'd you tell your detective about being undead anyway?"

"He believed psychic for a while, then more and more zombies started appearing, and I stabbed myself. It just all added up." Liv said. She smiled. "If it wasn't all true, the story of my life since I became a zombie would make a pretty good TV show. Like Santa Clarita Diet, but with more puns and crime-fighting instead of crime-starting. I'll be called Seattle Diet. Lots of hot sauce involved."

"It would make a better show if we find the murderer and punish him accordingly. With your zombie powers and my devilish charm, we can probably solve the crime without any detectives."

Liv raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you saying-"

"Yep. Just a zombie and the devil, solving crime together. No police or detectives. I can figure out why the detective is so unique at any time, but I only have until this case is over to figure out why Father decided to bring zombies of all things here. So what do you say?"

Liv thought it over for a second. Clive would be the only one who'll miss her, but he had normal police he could work with. Besides, everything would go back to normal after they leave California. "I'm in. Let's solve this case on our own."


	6. WARNER SIGNS

Liv and Lucifer came waltzing out of the convertible and into the Warner Brothers' parking lot. "So since Mr. Tator worked at here and likes movies a bit too much, Warner Brothers's the most likely place he talked to the two people. They could have been actors. I saw them in my vision, so I just have to recognize them."

"Seems easy enough," Lucifer said.

They walk into the main office. A lady behind the counter sees them walking by. "Tom, Rose, you're supposed to be in lot D," She said.

The two looked back at her. "What?" Liv questioned.

She let out a small laugh. "Oh, sorry. You looked like a couple of our actors from behind. Who are you two anyway?"

"We're with the Los Angeles police department," Lucifer said. He flashed Liv's badge at her. The medical examiner noticed and took her badge back, but he ignored that and continued to talk. "After looking at all the clues, the investigation brought me and my partner here to learn more about the murder of janitor Richard Tator."

She was awestruck. "Oh my, that's horrible"

"We were wondering if he had any enemies at work? Perhaps the actors? Also, not Russell Crowe; we've talked to him already." Liv asked.

"Oh, I wouldn't know." She handed Lucifer a map of their studio and pointed to a building at the edge. "The people down in HR might. Good luck."

"Thank you," Liv said. Her and Lucifer started walking towards where the woman pointed to.

All around them where large buildings that Liv knew were full of filming equipment. The thought of it made her want to run into each one and start commanding orders, but her strive to finish the case overpowered the pull of the brain. That was until she walked in front of the lot labeled 'D'. Something seemed familiar about it. Important, perhaps.

"What's wrong, Medical Examiner?" Lucifer asked.

"We should go into lot D. I think something important is there. We should go check it out."

"If you say so."

Together, they walk into the said lot. Inside, people were cleaning up a set and building another. Lucifer recognized the actors walking out as the scenery changed. "That's Dominic Cooper and Noah Taylor. This must be the set for Preacher."

"You watch Preacher? Aren't you the devil?" Liv asked.

"I know the irony of it, but it's a good show. Besides, a half-demon priest seems like a middle finger to Father. I don't watch it that often though."

The crew members around them were frantically changing everything, so Liv thought it best to wait till they finished before looking around.

"Ravi reads the comics," she continued.

"Oh really? There's comics? DC or the other one?"

"Vertigo, actually, although it's owned by DC."

Lucifer laughed. "Vertigo? If they're going to make a comic book TV show they could at least pick one from a good company."

"I know right. And thank god they don't stick to the source material all that much since Vertigo comics really are horrible," Liv complained.

"They don't stick to the source material?"

"No. Ravi says that they got the character all wrong, even the hair color is different. Then they changed all the names, added characters, deleted characters, et cetra. Not accurate at all. It's pathetic. If I were directing -"

"Yes, you'd direct it oh so much better than the actual directors," Lucifer interrupted. "And act it better than the actual actors. I've heard."

Liv crossed her arms and nodded. "Damn straight I'd be better."

The two supernatural beings' conversation was cut short by an actual worker going up to them. "Can I help you?"

"We're with the LAPD," said Liv.

"LAPD? We assure you, warner bros studios is not having any issues right now. Crime free since 1943, is what we say around here."

Lucifer laughed slightly. "Oh don't worry, we just have a couple murder suspects to interrogate and we believe that they work here."

"You can still be crime free," Liv reassured, "the murder was done on the Hollywood walk of fame."

The worker nodded slowly and back away slightly. "Oh, I-I'll help you any way I can. Who are you looking for?"

Liv started telling the man what the two in her vision looked like but got sidetracked into a rant about how better she would be as an actor. Lucifer, hearing it before, started looking around boredly. An empty director's chair caught his eye. "Don't mind if I do," he said as he walked over.

The scene in front of the chair just finished changing. It was a forest-like set with fog forming across the floor. When Lucifer made it passed the set to the chair to see a script laying on top of it. He picked it up. "Once Upon A Time," Lucifer read aloud. Noticing the tab sticking out of it, he flipped to that page and read it. "Ah, yes; the peek of story writing. Robin hood and Tinkerbell finally make up from their fighting after a classic deus ex machina bring them together."

The real director came up to the devil. "Excuse me, but your not supposed to touch that."

"Oh, sorry," he said, handing the script over. "If you don't mind me asking, who plays Robin Hood and Tinkerbell in this little show of yours?"

"What? Are you a fan or something?"

Lucifer scoffed. "I'm clearly not or I would already know their names."

Liv and the worker she was taking to join up with the clearly annoyed director and the source of his annoyance. "The people in my vision are probably named Tom Ellis and Rose McIver," Liv interrupted.

"Wait," asked the director, "Who are you two and why are you both concerned with them?"

"So the actors happen to be the murderers? What a coincidence."

"What?!"

The worker cleared his throat. "Mr. Beggs, these are LAPD members. The motto still holds up though."

"Yep. And if you could make your 'actors'," Liv put quotes around actors, "to come over and get interrogated, that would be great."

The director looked flustered, but he still put down the script and started heading for the actor's trailers.

Clive and Chloe came out of the interrogation to see a distinct lack of their partners.

"Where'd Liv go?" Clive asked.

A look of dread came over Chloe's face, but it got quickly replaced with anger. "Why can't he just listen for once," she grumbled as she started walking towards the exit.

"Where are you going?"

"To our partners. Knowing Lucifer, he's almost definitely at Warner Brothers studios."

Clive sighed. "And if he's there, Liv probably is too."

The two of them left together, heading towards their supernatural companions.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
A/N: Woah, things are heating up real good I'd say. It's best not to think about the logistics brought up here too hard. And review! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	7. ACT OR FICTION

Disclaimer: Although some characters are based off of real people, don't take it seriously.

"I demand a table," Liv told a worker.

"Okay, right away, but you don't have to be such a dictator about it," The worker said.

As he walked away, Liv sighed and hung her head. "I really hate this brain," she mumbled.

"Don't worry Medical Examiner," Lucifer said, "We'll find the murderers soon and punish them accordingly."

Liv nodded. "Yeah. But I'm not so sure that these actors are the murderers. It usually takes a couple of false assessments before we know that someone did it. It feels like life's a bad TV show, trying to artificially build suspense and set up for the twist villain."

"Yeah, you can blame my father for that. He tends to enjoy manipulation." Two people walking up caught Lucifer's eyes. He points to them. "Are those your vision people?"

"Definitely. I'd remember those faces anywhere. They weren't made for TV; radio at the very least."

A table was delivered to the detective's assistants, which Tom Ellis and Rose McIver sat at.

"What is this about? We aren't doing drugs, I promise," Rose said.

Liv scoffed. "Sure you aren't," she muttered.

"We're not here for drugs, or else we'd have to arrest the whole studio," Lucifer said. "We're here for the murder of Janitor Richard Tator."

Both Tom and Rose looked a mix of shocked and horrified. Rose put a hand over her mouth and gasped while Tom shook his head.

"Blimey, that's horrible," Ellis mumbled. "How did he go?"

Liv slammed on the table, glaring at him. "You tell us you murderer," she said. The zombie then did an immediate 180 and smiled at Lucifer. "See how great of an actor I am? Better than these two by far. A two-year-old could tell that their shock is fake."

"I know we're actors, but you have to believe us; I'm just a wee kiwi farmer from the Shire, I, nor Tom, would ever kill anybody," Rose defended.

"Oh, is that so?" Lucifer leaned close to them. "Didn't you hate him? Always saying how he's better? Demeaning you? A hate so strong you strangled him and shipped him to Seattle of all places."

Tom and Rose both shook their heads. "You've got it all wrong," Tom said. "I hated him, but that's no reason to kill him. I hate some co-workers just as much, or even more. Ryan Alosio is still alive, isn't he?"

Rose continued the plea. "I didn't like him too, everyone did to some degree, but I hardly hate him. We barely ever talk."

Liv cleared her throat. "Barely talk huh?" She made her voice deeper. "I think it would be best if you don't let this information out. Don't you agree?" In an accented voice nearly identical to Rose's, she continued. "You monster." Liv looked smugly at the two, truly horrified people in front of her. In her normal voice, she asked: "Are you scared of my great vocal range or jail?"

Rose started saying "No, no, no, no, no... There was nobody else there…" She looked close to tears. "There couldn't have been anybody else there…"

Tom talked at the same time. "How much did you hear? You can't legally share that information, right? It's too personal!"

Lucifer looked at Liv, and she looked back. "Well, that surely got a reaction."

She nodded. "I used my 'superpowers'; it's time for yours."

"Right." Lucifer looked into Tom's eyes, since Rose was covering her face with her hands at this point. "Tell me… what do you desire."

The actor hesitated but talked soon enough. "I… we just don't want anybody to find out. It'll ruin us."

"Find out about the murder you committed?"

Tom shook his head at Lucifer's question. "No. Acting careers can bounce back after something like that. This is worse."

"What is?" Liv asked.

No matter how hard Lucifer looked at the actor, he didn't say. "A deep secret huh? Maybe this could convince him to cooperate." The devil was about to show his demonic eyes to the human, but a loud yell saying 'LUCIFER!' stopped him. Lucifer and Liv's eyes went off of their suspects and toward the noise. "Good timing Detective, they're the murderers. Punish them accordingly."

Chloe and Clive came to their partners, Chloe 110% done with Lucifer and Clive looking more disappointed than anything.

"Lucifer, this is it! You're acting way too reckless today, and not only is it hurting the case, you're making the LAPD look horrible to the guests!"

Clive looked at his partner, who did look really sorry for how she was acting. "And you're really not helping."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," she said sheepishly.

Chloe ignored the Seattle detectives and continued scolding. "Just because someone else, someone who is actually a detective and not just a consultant, is my partner doesn't mean you can run off with a medical examiner! I think you should go home, and stay there until the guest detectives are gone at least. You're even dragging innocent civilians into this!" She gestured to Rose and Tom, who both looked miserable, like someone close to them just died.

"But Detective-"

"But nothing! I've got more than enough help on this case."

Rose took her hands off of her face and wiped away some beginnings of tears. "He's right," she said.

All attention was back on the actors. "What do you mean?" Chloe asked.

"He's right. We killed Dick. We had too."

"We really did have no choice: he was blackmailing us," Tom added.

Lucifer shot Chloe an 'I told you so' face, and she glared back. "This isn't over," she told him, but soon looked at Tom and Rose. "Let's go back to the station. You can tell us everything there."

Back at the station, Tom Ellis sat in the interrogation room to give his confession to Clive and Chloe. Lucifer and Liv had to wait outside again, but now they were being watched by Dan to make sure they don't run away again. Rose was waiting in another room for her time to tell the story.

"Okay, tell us everything," Clive said.

Tom didn't resist. "Dick was the best, cheapest janitor that Warner Brothers could ever get, and I respect him for that, but every single other thing about him was utterly horrible. He always talked down to actors, directors, cameramen, and basically anybody he'd come in contact with. As far as anyone could tell, he had no friends or family near us, which I would feel bad for, but he was just so insufferable! One day he found out private information on me and Rose, then was trying to use it as blackmail."

"What was this 'private information'?" Chloe asked.

Tom looked pleadingly at them. "I don't want to say."

"Please," Clive said, "it'll help you and Rose out a lot if we know the full story."

Tom contemplated for a second, his face turning red. "He found out our usernames for Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net, and Wattpad."

Liv's judgmental laughter could be heard through the walls. Chloe's and Clive's blank stares weren't helping either.

"You don't understand, if that information gets out, it could not only destroy our acting careers, but our whole lives too!"

"Oookay… How did he even find it then?"

"Rose came to my trailer when we both had some downtime. We were working on chapter 1 of a new fanfiction that crossed over two shows we star in, but we lost track of time. Rushing to get to our sets on time must of made us forget to close the laptop all the way so it locks.

Being the janitor, he had the keys to my trailer. He told us that he opened the laptop to see the worst story he'd ever read in his life. Honestly, it wasn't our best work. There wasn't much detail in it, mostly dialogue. Every single line in it was either a pun, a set up to a pun, or meta-humor because it seemed funny."

He could tell the detectives didn't care so he moved on. "Regardless, it wasn't that bad that he found the story. What ruined us was that I was logged into my account and we mentioned Rose's by name in the author's note. He knew both of our fanfiction accounts, which have links to our AO3s and Wattpads. Now, some of these stories were the worst things ever written. Lemon, lime, smut, you name it, we had it in abundance. Could be incest, or vore, or worse. Not only that, but fics from shows way out of our age range that no sensible, childless adults should be watching, let alone writing about. Octonauts, Fairly Odd Parents, Pokemon, and more. So many anime too. Plus, on wattpad we had shipping fics that involved real people. Rose had a really detailed one on septiplier and I had one on Bernie Sanders and the reader. Now this is just skimming the barrel. There is so much unironic trash in those six accounts it's unbelievable! He knew it too without having to read it all. Dick took me and Rose to the side and blackmailed us to get him into the acting industry. I would've if he didn't say that he'd likely put the information out anyway. I'm sure Rose felt the same, but I wanted to die on the spot. We went back to filming, not knowing what to do, and the production went overtime.

Me and Rose have been carpooling to talk about fanfiction ideas, so we drove home together too when I saw him at the walk of fame. It was late enough for there to be barely anybody around. Rose said something like 'I wish we could just run him over and this whole thing would be over'. We already passed him, but that sounded like a great idea. I don't know what came over me, but I was stressed and tired. I stopped the car and ran behind the guy to strangle him. I wouldn't have killed him so fast and wittnessless if Rose didn't follow me. She told me which way of strangulation would be best, which I did. I know how she strives for accuracy in her stories, and she wrote about a yandere anime character, so I didn't doubt that she looked it up and remembered. It killed him.

We carried him to the car and put him on one of my friend's barges. Now do what you want to me, but I'll never tell you my username."

Liv was still cracking up outside with Dan trying his best to quiet her. "What kind of losers write fanfictions? And who even reads them? Baka" she laughed.

"You'd be surprised. There's so much sin on those three websites alone Hell won't lose material anytime soon," Lucifer added.

Rose was brought in next, telling the exact same story.

As the real detectives started putting the actors in jail, Liv came out of another vision. "Their accounts are 69Kiwigorl420 and BritishS8n666!" she yelled.

The police rolled their eyes, but Rose and Tom looked ready to die.

The murdering actors were taken away, leaving Liv and Lucifer alone together again.


	8. DEAL OR NO DEAL WITH THE DEVIL

Liv and Lucifer started walking out of the precinct, not wanting to handle the paperwork part of murders. "So where to now, medical examiner?" Lucifer asked.

"Well, we got the antagonist of the week. I should probably get going back to Seattle soon and get a better brain. We could watch a movie while waiting for Clive to finish, but I won't watch something stupid like A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding. I hate stupid, flashy, hollywhack movies like that. You know-"

Lucifer didn't want another rant so he cut her off. "You want to get the personality and memories of a new brain, right?"

"Oh my god, yes. Why, do you have one?"

"Maybe," Lucifer said. "You remember our deal? I didn't tell anybody about your undead-ness, now it's your turn to repay the favor."

The two reached Lucifer's car and got in. "And this favor includes a brain?" Liv questioned.

"It should."

00000000000000000

They stood in the forest in front of an unmarked grave, Lucifer fishing up a brain. They both seemed visibly uncomfortable with what was happening. "So, what's the favor again?"

"My brother, Uriel, he knew about the flaming sword. We're trying to find all of the parts, but it's proving to be quite difficult."

"So, just to get this straight, you want me to…"

Lucifer stood up, now with a dirt-covered brain in hand, but he didn't look at it. "Yes. Look around at us celestial beings and get a vision about the piece of the flaming sword. It's here, whatever that means, so you should be able to find it." Lucifer plopped the brain into Liv's hands, and she looked disgusted. She knew that she's eaten worse, and that she wouldn't even taste to dirt or get sick by it, but the thought of eating something dirt-covered made Richard's brain squirm. Hot sauce was needed, but alas, hot sauce couldn't be brought through the TSA.

Regardless, Lucifer closed his eyes as Liv took a hefty bite out of his brother's brain. "It'll take a few minutes for the brain to kick in. Is there any place specifically that you'll think will get a vision?" she said as she put the organ back into the tomb.

"Yes actually."

By the time they got to the church that Uriel died in, Liv couldn't feel any of the urges of Richard's brain, but she couldn't feel the new one either.

The zombie looked around the church, trying to trigger a vision. Nothing happened until she looked back at Lucifer. Upon seeing him in their current location, she gasped, clearly going into a vision.

Lucifer watched as she stood in a daze, guessing what she was seeing. The church probably wasn't the best first place to take her. The instant she exhaled sharply, Lucifer clarified "It was in self-defense."

"What?" Liv asked.

"What did you see? Do you know what he meant by 'the piece is here?'"

Liv shrugged. "It was the strangest thing. I was definitely having a vision, but everything was bright white. All I could hear was a monotone hyme. Nothing here should have triggered something like that."

Lucifer looked disappointed. "Yeah, I should've expected that; Azrael's sword is thorough. No soul probably means nothing to pull memories from." He sighed. "An angel's brain in a human's body probably wouldn't have turned out well anyway."

"Yeah," Liv mumbled. "An angel's brain." She never fully believed Lucifer when he kept saying that he was the devil, but she's never had a vision like that before. Maybe there really is a such thing as heaven and hell. Which way would she go when she dies? Like genuinely dies. Could the Lucifer that she's been trying to get with this whole trip really be Satan himself?

A ringing phone snapped Liv out of her thoughts. Seeing that it was Clive calling, she answered it. "Hello?"

'Tom Ellis and Rose McIver have been put under arrest,' he said. 'Where are you?'

"I had to do a favor real quick. And good news: the brain wore off. You won't have to hear about boom shots or something on the way back home."

'Thank goodness for that, but you should hurry back. The LAPD already got us tickets back first thing tomorrow morning and a one night stay near the airport. They want us to leave soon, because of LA traffic or something.' Hearing that, Liv realized how little traffic there'd been all day as she drove around with Lucifer, but she shrugged it off, although she couldn't help but think of it like driving through a movie studio. Richard's brain really did a number on her view of movie, and reality to an extent as well. 'The same detective's we were working with are going to drive us there. You're still with Lucifer, aren't you.'

"Yeah, kinda. We'll be back soon though, don't worry."

Luggage in hand, Liv and Clive stood in front of their hotel with Lucifer and Chloe standing near the car.

"It was a pleasure working with you two, and the whole LAPD," Clive said.

Chloe nodded. "While some of your methods are a bit… strange… the pleasure was ours. Right Lucifer?"

"Why of course. And feel free to come back any time Medical Examiner; I never got to show you the top of the water tower after all."

Liv smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. You could come to Seattle too, as long as the, um, virus doesn't spread too fast."

"Oh please, I'm the devil. I can't get 'viruses'. Trust me, I've tried. Besides, they do call me old scratch so I'd fit right in regardless."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Are you two still talking about zombies?"

"No," Liv lied, "the flu is real bad in Washington right now." She faked a cough into her arm.

"Okay then," Chloe said, not believing her. "Have a safe trip."

With one final wave farewell, Chloe and Lucifer left, leaving Liv and Clive alone as they bring their luggage to their room. The next day, a shuttle came and they were soon back in their home city and back to work.

"Hey, do you know the actors Tom Ellis and Rose McIver?"

"No, why? Did you get their autographs or something?" Ravi asked.

"They were the murderers of the John Doe, who was named Richard Tator. After a vision, Lucifer and I found them really fast. He had some weird abilities."

Ravi smiled. "You were working with a person named Lucifer? Did you ever dance with him in the pale moonlight?"

"I wish. I bet he's a great dancer, "Liv mumbled. She shook the thought from her head and continued what she was saying before. "But anyway, he insisted that really was the devil. There were some weird things too, like he gave me a completely blank brain of an angel apparently, and he could get people to share secrets. Do you think he really could be satan?"

Ravi shrugged. "I got laughed out of the CDC for believing in things like zombies, and you can see who was right about that. The devil is widely believed, so it actually existing doesn't seem too far fetched really."

"But if he exists, so does heaven, hell, angels, demons, and God. Someone in heaven made zombies; Lucifer even said it sounded like something God would do. Someone chose for this to happen."

"Don't worry about the devil in the details. If God exists or not, it doesn't really change much. But enough about God, tell me more about LA. Did you have a hell of a time? When you were with Lucifer, did all hell break loose? Did he find work for idle hands? There are all these questions, so little time."

Liv told Ravi as much about Lucifer as he wanted to know, which basically covered the whole trip to LA.

It wasn't long before life went back to normal. A new murder needed solving, and a new brain needed eating. The one day spent in LA with a devil of a man and his partner became a distant memory for both parties involved.  
~~~~~~  
A/N: This should be it; a zombie and the devil are no longer working together. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter, and the story as a whole. By the way, from day one of writing this I was trying to make the pun about dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight. Essentially, that one joke was the whole point of this story. Do with that information what you will. I'm glad you liked the story so much. Thanks for reading!


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